A Discussion on the Discussion of Meditation

Meditation

When I first learned about this little trick you could employ to fix all your problems, it was exactly that - a tool to fix all your problems.

Promises of the walls in your room melting around you, your body evaporating as you elevate to a higher plane. Apparently, it was like taking Heroine without the annoying part where your friends ask if everything is alright.

It’s the other way around! Once you start meditating, YOU get to ask those same friends if they are doing alright. You know, because you’re better than them.

Meditation is commonly accepted as a great tool to soothe your mind, ease anxiety, and improve compassion/empathy. It has no negative side effects. So what’s the catch? There is none. All you have to do is sit down and breathe for 10 minutes. Maybe repeat a mantra or focus deeply on the inhalation and exhalation. Then you’re good to go.

I couldn’t wait to get started!

Soon traffic would be a welcome reprieve where I could enjoy stillness. Waiting in line at Trader Joe’s would be an opportunity to express gratitude for the fact that I can easily access an abundance of food while the rest of the world still has to farm or whatever.

“Don’t worry Trader Joe’s employee! I want you to continue that conversation with the person you’re checking out even though there are 5 people in line behind them! It’s 1:30 pm and this store's occupancy level should indicate that there’s a pending natural disaster but, NO! It’s just the fact that everyone in Denver has remote jobs (aka no one in Denver works) and it’s turned the busy hours into all the hours!!”

Clearly, I’m a psychopath. Recognizing this, I embarked on a 3-year on-and-off journey to become someone who meditates. It’s been the toughest habit to maintain. The benefits are delayed and when they do finally arrive, less tangible.

I’ve always struggled with the question “Why do you meditate?”

I immediately go on the defensive and shout, “THE SCIENCE SHOWS THAT PEOPLE WHO MEDITATE LIVE LONGER AND YOU’RE NICER WHEN YOU DO IT.”

Citing scientific studies is a great way to prove I’m a ~chill~ guy who’s at peace with himself.

If I miss a workout for a couple of days I feel it. I don’t feel it the same way as if I miss meditation. It’s more retroactive. At night I’ll be laying in bed and think, “Huh, I overreacted a bit there, maybe I should meditate.” So I do the next day. And maybe I feel a little better. But then I stop because who has 10 minutes to sit and breathe?

Returning to my original point, I also stop because I’m not experiencing this euphoric brain orgasm that I was promised. So I tell myself that the benefits of meditation are fake or maybe I’m not someone who should do it because I have too many thoughts and I can’t focus.

The problem lies within the narrative around the concept of meditation, not meditation itself. I think I’m bad at meditation because I have all these thoughts and the point of meditation is to sit and have no thoughts. Right?

Wrong. The point of meditation is merely to be aware of your thoughts in the present moment. Sure, focussing on the breath and repeating a mantra like “I. AM. HERE. NOW” Is a terrific place to start.

Since I started meditating 3 years ago, I’ve had some peaceful moments during the physical act of meditation that bleed over to the rest of my life. Meditation isn’t just the physical act of sitting and breathing, it’s an acute awareness of the present moment at any point in the day. The ideal state is to go through life fully immersed in the present moment. That’s quite the challenge and requires a ton of “practice” (hence meditation practice).

I mentioned last week that before getting up on stage most of my fear came from the THOUGHT of failure and what might happen as a result of that. I observed those thoughts and attempted to withhold judgment. Simply being aware of the thought allowed me to achieve a marginally higher level of peace by separating my inner monologue from reality.

“My brain is programmed for survival, and going up on stage is not conducive to that. I understand why I’m scared.” But I was still really scared.

The harsh truth is, that’s about as good as it’s going to get unless you become a monk and dedicate your life to meditating 16 hours a day. If I felt no fear or apprehension before getting up on stage there would be a problem. A lot of discussion around the benefits of meditation sounds like desensitization.

If you intend to continue living your life as a citizen of the global economy, you’re going to need a job, shelter, food, etc. at the very least. Those requirements might create a large, never-ending to-do list. Most of your moments might be spent thinking about how to manage that workload. Rightfully so, especially if other people are relying on you for survival.

If you fit that description, meditation won’t absolve you of your day-to-day worries. It won’t eliminate suffering when something bad happens. You’ll still have feelings of anger, disappointment, and envy. Quite the pitch.

But what you might get in return, after consistent practice, is the ability to pull yourself out of a chain of never-ending thoughts about what needs to be done, thus minimizing the stress you place on yourself throughout the day.

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